What if I return to use?
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A lot of people return to use at some point in recovery, without planning to. It can happen early on or years into your recovery. It might last a day, or it might last longer. Either way, all the work you've put in still counts.
Sometimes there's a clear trigger, like running into someone you used with, a hard day at home, finding an old syringe, or cravings that won't let up. Sometimes there's no obvious reason at all. Whatever the reason, your Boulder care team will help you understand what happened and what you need to keep moving toward your goals. Returning to use doesn't undo anything, and we'll never punish you for it. It's a part of your journey that we're here to support.
Common triggers
- Feeling physically unwell or experiencing withdrawal symptoms
- Not getting enough sleep, food, or rest
- Spending time around people or in places connected to past substance use
- Experiencing strong emotions, such as anger, loneliness, sadness, or exhaustion
- Navigating stressful relationships or major life changes
- Feeling disconnected from others or lacking support
- Experiencing changes in routines or activities that help you feel supported
What it can feel like
Using again after time in recovery can bring up frustration, guilt, shame, or hopelessness. It's common to feel like your recovery is wrecked and there's no way back, or that treatment was never going to work anyway.
Those feelings make sense, but we also view the situation a bit differently. Returning to use doesn't erase your progress. It's information about where you may still need support. Addiction is complicated, and recovery isn't one moment you either get right or get wrong. Our job at Boulder is to help you make sense of what happened and build on what's already working.
Boulder has your back
Boulder doesn't punish people for returning to use, and you will never lose your care for that reason. When it comes up, the first thing we care about is your safety, including using substances as safely as possible if you're still using.
Then we'll work through it together. Are there people, places, or things worth steering clear of for a while? Is your treatment doing enough for your cravings? Is something stressful going on that we can talk through?
Recovery isn't a single event. It's the ongoing work of reconnecting with the parts of your life that matter to you, and that takes time. Boulder will be here for it.
Working together
Together with your Boulder care team, you'll figure out what makes sense next. That might mean visits more often, working through a specific problem, or extra time with your Peer Recovery Specialist, someone with lived experience of recovery. Whatever it looks like, you won't be doing it alone.
In short
Returning to use can happen at any point in recovery. Boulder's job is to make sure you're safe, work with you on a plan for what to do when triggers show up (see Reuse prevention planning), and keep working toward the things you want in your life.