Questions to Ask a Counselor

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Key Points

Finding and working with a counselor can feel scary or overwhelming and it might take some time to find someone you trust.
Counselors and other mental health professionals approach their work with people in different ways.
It’s important to find a counselor that has experience working with whatever your main concern is and supports what you want to get out of counseling.

Different Approaches

Counselors/therapists and other mental health professionals have different types of training. Even people with similar training might approach your concerns differently.

You will likely find counseling more helpful if you work with someone you feel comfortable talking with. You’ll also want to know how they will help you. If you have been in counseling before, you might know what kind of things were helpful or not helpful. For example, some people want to talk more about their past experiences and other people would like to talk more about future goals.

If you are thinking about counseling for the first time, it might take a little longer to find the right person. Your Boulder Care Team can help you!

How do I find a counselor/mental health professional?

There are many different ways you could find someone to work with. If you have health insurance, you might be able to search for mental health professionals on your insurance website. An Internet search can be useful. Many websites have information about counselors—where they work, how they work with people, and which insurances they accept. A list of helpful online resources for finding a counselor is at the end of this article.

You might prefer a recommendation from someone you trust. For example, if you know someone else with a similar concern to yours, you could ask if they know or can recommend someone. You can also ask your primary care clinician to make a referral. Of course, your Boulder Care Team is ready to help, too! Your Peer Recovery Specialist and/or Care Advocate can help you find services in your area.

How do you know if a mental health professional could be right for you?

You can set up a consultation—a specific time for them to tell you about themselves and answer questions you might have (more on that in a minute!). A consultation often happens over the phone. The visit time can vary, but it’s often 15 minutes. It can be a good idea to have a consultation with more than one mental health professional to help you make your decision.

What do I ask in a consultation?

These are some examples of questions you might want to ask a counselor to see if you might want to work with them.

Counselor Experience & Approach

How long have you been a counselor?
What is your treatment style? (If they use words you don’t know to describe their style, then add: "Please explain that style to me" or "Can you give me an example of that treatment style?")
How much experience do you have working with people who have [your need/concern/challenge]?
When was the last time you worked with people who have [your need/concern/challenge]?
What is your usual approach to working with people who have [your need/concern/challenge]?
Will we talk about my family and relationship history?
How much will we talk about my past?
How do you set up counseling goals? What are typical goals?
What do you consider “success”?

Insurance

Do you take my insurance?
How is insurance handled—do you deal with them or do I send them information?
How much will each visit cost me (sometimes called a co-pay)?

Visit Structure and Policies

How often will we meet? For how long?
What happens in a usual visit?
How will other people I care about (partner/family member(s)) be involved in my care?
Do you give “homework” to do in between visits?
What is your policy on cancelling visits?

You won’t have to decide right away if you want to work with them or not. If you think you might be interested, you can ask: “What happens next?” and “How do I make an appointment?” You might also want to know, “How do I prepare for my first visit?”

Approach to Substance Use Disorders

Depending on your wellness goals, you might want to know the counselor’s approach toward substance use—even if you’re not seeking help for substance use specifically. Do they support medication treatment? Take a harm reduction approach? Focus on abstinence only? Comparing their views on these things to your own can help you get a sense if they’re a good match for you.

Lived Experiences and Shared Identities

Many counselors who work with people with mental health concerns have their own lived experience as well. If working with someone with lived experience is important to you, you can ask the counselor about their experience.

Similarly, one of the ways people can feel connected to others is when they have something in common. For example, you might want someone who is from the same cultural background, gender, sexual orientation, or religious/spiritual beliefs as you. If you’re a parent, you might want to work with someone who is also a parent.

It is okay to ask the counselor about these things. Remember, though, that it’s their choice whether to share personal information and how much they want to share. They might not want to answer personal questions, and that is okay.

After the Consultation

Many people find it helpful to make notes after the consultation. What did you like about the person or their approach? What didn’t you like? How did you feel when you were talking with them? Who did most of the talking? How well did they listen to you? How much did they share? How do you feel about their responses? What questions do you still have? If you have more questions, you can set up another time to speak with them.

Choosing a Counselor

If you have talked to more than one counselor, compare your notes to make your choice. If someone isn’t a good match for you, you may feel that pretty quickly! More than one person could seem like a good match. You could talk through your visit notes and questions/concerns with someone you trust—including your Boulder Peer Recovery Specialist—to help make the decision. You can also ask to see the counselor for a trial period—a few sessions with them—to help you make your decision.

What if I think I made the wrong choice?

Counseling can be hard and it can take time to feel comfortable with them. Sometimes it is worth having a few visits to see how things go or it is totally okay to move on and find a different counselor. If you are feeling unsure about whether to keep seeing a counselor or not, your Boulder Care Team can also help you decide.

A counselor wants to help people and wants what is best for you. They might be able to recommend someone else they know who might be a better fit. What is most important is that you find someone you trust and that you feel like you are making progress toward your wellness goals.

Action Steps

Reach out to anyone on your Boulder Care Team if you have mental health questions or concerns.
Talk to your Peer Recovery Specialist or Care Advocate for help finding mental health services available to you.
Make a list of questions you want to ask before you have a consultation with a mental health provider. You could practice asking the questions with your Peer Recovery Specialist before the consultation.
Trust yourself!! If someone doesn’t feel like a good match, it is okay to find another provider.

Summary

Getting help for mental health can feel overwhelming or scary for some people. Breaking the process down into steps can help things feel more manageable. Asking a counselor questions about their experience and approach can help you decide if they seem like someone who could help you. Sometimes it takes a few tries to find the right person for you. Your Boulder Care Team is here to help you throughout this process.

Resources

16 Directories for Therapists of Color (Davia Roberts 2020)
Psychology Today searchable database of therapists by state
Healthcare Professionals Advancing Equality: searchable database of providers who are knowledgeable about working with LGBTQIA+ people

References

Bloudoff-Indelicato, M. (2016). The 14 Questions You Should Ask A Therapist Before Your First Appointment.

Cleantis, T. (2011). How to Find the Best Therapist for You.

Guenther, J. (2018). A Beginner’s Guide to Therapy, Part 2: What to ask in a consult.

Questions, concerns, or feedback?

You can send a message to your Care Team in the app with non-urgent questions or feedback, or you can always call Boulder's 24/7 Support at 888-316-0451.